Sunday, November 13, 2011

pain

I have often thought and said that pain helps the spark of creativity in us and helps us cross the threshold that otherwise restricts us. I saw Rockstar yesterday and the question rose again. Is pain the only way to produce your best work, creativity wise?
I think it has to do with intense emotions. Any intense emotion, if channeled, can help a creator come up with an inspired creation. If we accept this hypothesis, then the next question comes - why are all our best works a product of a period of suffering?
There can be two reasons for that. I have personally felt that both of them go hand in hand.
First: Pain is the easiest emotion to channel. Compare it witb joy, excitement, success, love... all intense but happy emotions. These emotions have becone occassions to celebrate. And with the passage of time, we have learnt to take them in our stride. Shelf them. And aspire for more. There is no contentment with achievement of these emotions. Rather, they serve as a push to gun for more. Why stop now, when i can go another mile?
Pain stops us on our feet. Forces us to think and change the course that we have been moving along on merrily thus far. It is often this stimulus that guides the work of creativity. It becomes easy to give up all the other things that might be going on and focus on just one thing that really matters. Which is the creation of a creator. This singlemindedness propels the work of art to a personal genius. It comes from the deepest part in us, comes from our soul.
Second: when nothing else matters, the sense of fear on being judged for the work goes away. The creator stops caring for the opinions of the world. This goes hand in hand with the first point to help create the singlemindedness of utmost devotion to the work at hand.

The work, thus created, is undoubtedly the best you'll ever do. And a creator longs for pain. Masochism, is a common trait in all creative people... for the love of art, they'll suffer. Because that is the most important thing in theit lives.

I am sure my thoughts on this are not exhaustive. I welcome any comments or suggestions on this. Would like to understand it better myself.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Love's Labor Costs - Part 2

Bella searched and searched and searched for her Kaspy. From the screeching, rushing docks to the quiet graveyards. But, Kaspy eluded her. No hint....no clue... no trace. She was spiraling deeper and deeper into mind numbing despair, as she searched for her life, her love. Every corner, every street, every lane turned up nothing. Here, there, everywhere - no answers, no reasons, no sense to the tragedy that had silently and abruptly crashed into her life and brought it to a complete halt. She would not, could not, pay attention to the pleas of their family, who she and Kaspy had loved immensely.

As she scoured the streets of the city, something else began to dawn upon her. In all her quests to find Kaspy, one thread seemed to run through. The old and haggard lady was always around. Sometimes far, sometimes near, sometimes just a glimpse. But it was not the old lady herself who intrigued Bella. She realised that in her wake, the old woman would always leave sorrow. People pining with grief, people with tears, people with hollow, empty eyes. People who seemed to be feeling exactly what Bella herself had been feeling. "The old hag is to blame then", thought Bella, eager to grasp at the first semblance of reason offered to her. And Bella began to hate the old lady. With her heart, with her being, with all the despair turned to anger. Where there had been a levity and lightness in her life, now it was a cesspool of darkness, anger, morbidity. She hated the woman but realized that the only way she could triumph over the blow that the old woman had dealt her was, ironically,to meet with her, one final time. She made the arrangements. Laid down the pills and the chocolate milk (Kaspy's favourite drink). She looked around her house one last time, swallowed the mouthful of pills and lay down, closing her eyes.


She woke with a start. The four walls of her house still surrounded her. But they seemed a bit different. There were voices coming from the garden. That couldn't be possible. She had made sure to break off all contact from her family quite some time ago. She got up and moved to the window to take a look. And there they were.

Bella and Kaspy. In happier times. In together times. Laughing, teasing, with love in their eyes for each other. Like a shared secret. Then, suddenly, the mood changed. Kaspy grew sombre and thoughtful. He took Bella's hand in his. "Bella, what I am saying might seem frivolous and untimely, but I do hope you will recollect it when the need arises. There will come a time when we are going to lose the solace of each other's company forever. Without any logic or reason. One of us is going to leave the other one. And it might bring in its wake, grief, anger, darkness. I want us to remember, then. Remember the times we had, the machinations of fate and effort that made those times possible. And feel blessed. Revel in the light and not fall prey to the gloomy darkness that would be beckoning. Let the legacy of our love be happiness and light."

As she looked out of the window at the younger Bella and Kaspy, Bella couldn't help the tears that escaped her eyes. She surrendered to the emotion rising up like a wave inside her, and sobbed and sobbed. Through her tears, through the ouflow of her grief, she remembered, at last. She remembered her time with Kaspy, the love they had shared. Their fights, their grief, and also their happiness. As the wave of grief ebbed, she was left with an empty feeling. But this wasn't the same dark cavern that had existed inside her. It was as if the wave had washed away all of the darkness and heaviness inside of her. And she was free, to live again, to love her family again. She turned away from the window, and to her surprise the old lady stood at the entrance of the room. She shuffled slowly towards Bella and led her by the hand. The old lady's eyes were calm and wise and they seemed strangely soothing to Bella as she lay down to sleep again. Except this time the dream that she had was very chaotic. Lots of people hurrying around, voices shouting, her daughter's among them. Sirens wailing, someone shaking her. Silence descended on her again.

Bella woke to a hospital room and her family. And to a life that seemed worth living some more. She had realized how blessed she and Kaspy had been to have so much love in their lives and she resolved to leave the same legacy to her family as well. After all, love does make the world go round.

Bella did meet the old lady again. One last time. It was the old lady who took Bella by her hand and led her into the waiting arms of Kaspy.